A Joke Email

You may have seen this joke email going around - basically making fun of inner-city youth and socially biased standardized testing. Well - I answered the "test" :)


Schools in Detroit, Chicago and New Jersey are finally starting to teach practical math that these kids can relate to real-world situations!


NAME____________________

GANG/CREW NAME______________

CRIB_________________


1. Lajames has an AK-47 with a 200-round clip. He usually misses 6 of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive- by shootin. How many mofos can Lajames ice on a drive- by before he gotta reload?
A: Not enough information. If we make the assumption that each drive-by has one target, and the 4 landed shots would indeed ice said Mofo – then we can determine that the clip can ice 15.38462 mofo’s or 15 completely clipped.

2. Leroy has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what be the street value of the rest of his shit?
A: Leroy got quite bit out of Antonio selling him 3.5 grams (an 8-ball) for $320. At the $85 per gram rate the 8-ball should have cost $297.50. Leroy has depleted 5.5 grams of his 2 ounces = 56.7 grams. This leaves 51.2 grams remaining with a street value of $4,352.00 if we assume the $85 per gram rate.

3. Dwayne pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Dwayne's $800 per day Crack habit?
A: 9.411 tricks must be turned per day. Each Ho must therefore turn 3 tricks with his #1 or Queen Bee Ho turning 4 tricks.

4. Raul wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to gets the 20% upside?
A: We need to refer to the above stated street value of $85 per gram. We’re dealing with a grand total of 453.6 grams of sugar. The street value of the goods would therefore only be $38,556. It doesn’t matter how that mother f*&ker cuts his sh*t – he got robbed by his dealer daddy. He gonna have to make up $1,444 before he can event dig into the 20%.

5. Ray-Ray gets $2000 for a stolen BMW, $1500 for stealing a Corvette, and $1000 for a 4 x 4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to make the 10k for his brother's bail?
A: Ray-ray has a current stolen value of $8000. He needs to steal two more Corvettes to post bail. The good news is he’ll have an extra $1000 to throw a party once he’s out.

6. Pedro got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?
A: 72 months x $100 = $7200; he’ll have $2800 . . . these are getting easier.

7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with three 8 oz. Cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?
A: 20% of the total paint or 20% of each can? Let’s assume 20% of the total paint. 80% of 66 square feet of available paint = 52.8 Sq Ft. This will create 17.6 letters or 17 whole letters.

8. Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang. There be 20 girls in his gang. What be the percentage of bitches Tyrone knocked up?
A: 20% that one bored me.

9. Lafawnda is a lookout for the gang. Lafawnda also has a Boa Constrictor that eats 5 rats per week and a cost of $5 per rat. If Lafawnda makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed her snake with one week's income?
A: $25 per week, on $700 is 28 weeks. Just long enough to go into treatment and get right.

10. Marvin steals Juan's skateboard. As Marvin skates away at 15mph, Juan loads his 357 Magnum piece. If it takes Juan 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when he gets whacked?
A: If Marvin is moving at 15 mph he’s moving at 22 feet per second. That means he’s 440 feet away before Juan fires his piece. Just to give you an idea – that’s almost 150 yards (146.667) away 1.5 football fields. If he Juan cools Marvin – that’s one helluva shot! I say it’s a trick question – Marvin done did stole Juan’s skateboard out cold.

A wonderful Back-and-Forth, had to be documented.

Sanborn the problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money.

Murray - AND THERE'S a perfect example of what I'm talking about - sweeping rhetoric. Thank you Jim for the eloquent summation of what I'm talking about. IF it's true socialism (which by the way America is undeniably one of the least socialistic societies on the planet) - then there's no such thing as "other people's money."

Sanborn - First off the government doesn't have any money, they can only get money by taking it from people who earn it. So it every penny is "other people's money."

Second, the "least socialistic societies on the planet" is undeniably bankrupting it...self by spending the vast majority of its budget on income redistribution: HUD, HHS, SSA. It has already gone beyond spending other people's money into spending money that no one has - interest payments on the national debt ($375 billion) are more than 6 times what is spent on education ($53 billion).

IF you still think America is not socialist, please explain why 50% of the people pay 97% of the taxes, and why 1/6 of Americans receive some direct benefit of a social program. This is not sweeping rhetoric, it is reality.

Murray - You can dislike socialism. Just understand that socialism by definition puts all the money made by the society into a pool for all to use. It is distributed evenly, and no one has any person income. That's socialism - but people on... TV like to shout about it like America is moving to total socialism . . . that's fear mongering.
There is a debate about what percentage of our spending should come from government - that's a healthy debate. European nations tend to be about 60% of consumption from government. We tend to be about 40% - therefore we're not that socialistic. That's not a debate, that's just fact.

Sanborn - Thank you for your permission to have my own opinion, John. What is the difference between a "socialist" country that forces you to work for the government or a "free" country that forces productive people to pay for the unproductive? How... long will it be before the two types of socialism are indistiguishable from each other? That's not fear-mongering, that is forward-looking.

There is no debate on what percentage of our spending should come from government. The government does as is pleases, without regard for public opinion, consequences, or the existing amount of wealth. Being "less socialistic" is kind of like being the last ones to die of the plague - in the end you are still dead, you just sufferend longer.

Murray - That phrase "you can dislike socialism" was not meant to be condescending - I was simply trying to say that to be against socialism is a fine opinion. It's also fine to dislike the non-productive that take advantage of government programs.... But I really don't understand the dooms-day "forward thinking."

Government DOES have a roll in a modern society. It does. It provides infrastructure, military, and law. Things get a little more sticky when you discuss needs that could also be met by the private sector - food, energy, health care, etc.

But here's the thing - we're coming out of a period of time where the private sector (specifically financial institutions banks, lenders, and the street) leveraged our entire economy against (without getting technical) gambles. I just don't see how supply-side economics gets you out of this mess. The right wants to stay true to that position, but how do you allow supply-side economics to pull you out of what supply-side economics put you into? The banks were too big to fail, there were no loans, no one was hiring regardless of tax rate, the housing market was over-saturated . . . I mean what's left? Truly, what is left to stimulate GDP? The FED already had the interest rate at zero - I mean what is left? OH - there's only one thing left. Government spending through stimulus.

If you have or had another solution, please - let me know.

Sanborn - The supply-side economics are the only way out of the mess. The fallacy that government spending "stimulates" anything is a road to nowhere - which I believe was Brian's original point.

Supply-side economics did not create the mess. People... (including groups of people called corporations) put their capital at risk (gambled) like they do every day in a free economy. The problem came when the government eliminated that risk factor by bailing them out of their bad investments. They took good money (borrowed it, actually) from the productive and erased the debts that should have been incurred by the risk-takers.

What is left to stimulate the GDP? Private enterprise and capitalism is the only thing. Government creates nothing, only the labor of a free people can create wealth and keep the economy moving. Government spending only creates the illusion of growth. Once the injection of "stimulus" runs out, there is nothing left but a line of people still waiting for a handout and higher inflation. Without the capitalists willing to put their money at risk, there is no wealth to tax and no government revenue to redistribute.

Murray - You're right - it is the illusion of growth - that's the point. If you allow the banks to fail because they took those risks, then the assets just sit while we muck about trying to establish who owns the property or asset. The banks take ...massive losses and it sucks billions out of the market. By the times thing level off - the few that remain viable have their value cut by a massive percentage. See Great Depression.

Only now you have to multiply this because now we're in a global economy. If the banks all fail, and our market plummets - who do you think buys the assets? Americans that have no money? No - property and assets are now purchased by foreign entities - you want to start discussing the end of the free world? Allow the banks to fail. You want to talk about EVERY vehicle in this country being a Nissan, Toyota or Honda - allow GM to fail. This is not a fixed game.

Corporations are outsourcing to non-American workers STILL at an alarming rate. Wal-Mart is 16% of our entire economy and they purchase almost nothing domestically.

I'm sorry - but something needs to check their shit. I hope and pray someday we are in a position where free trade and an understanding of social responsibility by our corporations is alive and well. There is nothing more wonderfully efficient than capitalism. But one of Adam Smith's guiding principles is that the market work in the best interest of it's society. The incredible greed of the private sector put us in this position, and now it's time to pay the piper.

Sanborn - I cannot allow you to corrupt Adam Smith. His guiding principle was not what you stated at all. His brilliance was in pointing out that each of us working in our own self-interest results in the improvement of all.

In fact he clearly stat...ed that an individual who "intends only his own gain" is "led by an invisible hand to promote an end which was no part of his intention. By pursuing his own interest, he frequently promotes that of the society more effectually than when he really intends to promote it. I have never known much good done by those who affect to trade for the public good."

If you are satisfied with the illusion of growth and the illusion of a free market, and the illusion of wealth and prosperity, nothing I can point out from reality will change your mind.

Murray - Here's the rest of the Adam Smith quote (I'm sure where your Googled quotables left off) - "But the conditions required to operate this invisible hand efficiently are demanding. And even if those conditions exist, the resulting allocation of resources could be hugely unequal, and unsustainable in a society in which the citizens vote and governments respond to majority opinion." He conceded that government intervention could be required if ideal free market conditions were not present.

I believe that ideal free market conditions indeed do not exist at this time. Greed to the detriment of all.

The problem with partisan politics

Anybody that believes whole heartily in a single platform of politics is either:

• truly heartless to the troubles of certain classes in society
• so focused on certain social issues that they simply are blind to other rational thoughts
• ignorant (if you watch any given television channel and simply regurgitate what they say, that's you)
• are making decisions based on religion and only religion (see below for further explanation on this one)
• a ridiculous bleeding heart hippy that thinks we can all love one another right now
• haven't thoroughly educated yourself to understand one verifiable truth according to all economic theorists = Government is Inefficient but pervasive and required by society. The private sector is efficient, but unable to meet the needs of a complex society on the whole.

The last point is really the basis of most of my discussion and concern. Clearly I may have missed a reason for being single-party minded; if so please comment. But most logical people sit somewhere in the middle of the left and right philosophy. And while there are so many different viewpoints politically - if we stick with just an economic evaluation we should be able to keep this discussion fairly clean.

I'm not going to get into religion, because religion by nature is illogical. If ANYONE wants to get into it with me about the LOGIC of religion . . . fire away. Faith is by definition the opposite of provable. I'm not going to get into social issues (which are also often based on religion) because those have emotions that drive a position that is not necessarily viewing the societal norm. These include homosexuality, abortion, environmental issues, minority rights, etc. I should also note here - if you VOTE because of societal issues, then DON'T - I repeat DON'T - complain about taxes and the economy. They have NOTHING to do with each other. This is the part the ignorant don't understand.

Let me just drop a paragraph on my hypocritical morons of the world for just a second. You are a poor, redneck, trailer trash, slug with very few marketable skills. Your mama collects social security, your wife collects welfare, and you collect unemployment. You vote republican because they are more God faring, they appose gay marriage, and they'll make sure you keep your guns. I'm betting - if you lost your social security, welfare, and unemployment - you might not be able to drive to church, leave your box to see gay people, or own a gun because you can't afford the ammo. Guess what you suck of the earth, democrats keep you alive. Of course none of them are reading this blog.

So let's start with the capitalistic viewpoint. If we lower taxes, the small business owners (and large corporations) will have more money to grow their business - hire more employees. This in turn will stimulate more spending creating the multiplier effect that grows the GDP for the country. I mean my goodness - that sounds fucking great (in theory). The left Keynesian economics suggest that in a time of economic downturn - only government spending can stimulate the economy. This is a cute little idea, except that it grows the incredibly inefficient government that will use about 140% of funding required to do what the private sector could do more efficiently. But, at least they're doing something.

So what do we do? No one should write a blog unless they have a plan.

THIS is what we do - step 1: Don't vote on social issues and religion - it's often contrary to what you need. Don't worry; a hedonistic society won't suddenly sprout up if you vote left. Similarly, all underprivileged minorities & the environment will not die if we vote right (and we know the unborn babies certainly won't die). So just think what your money can do for YOUR social issue if you HAVE money, and vote for the economic plan.

Step 2: Vote democratic in 2010. We need to continue the economic benefits of stimulus money and government spending. If we start cutting taxes and withdrawing from government programs, it will force those that are struggling further into debt and we won't even begin to see the benefits of some of the programs that were pushed through. Most importantly is the health care bill. The health care bill and program is FAR from perfect. In fact, it sucks. It's poorly funded, it doesn't span the necessary coverage areas, and it's limiting to those that have nice health care plans . . . BUT - it needs to get a foothold so that it can be improved. It needs to gain acceptance so that every American can receive health care. I truly believe, that like electricity, water, sewage, roads, and food - Americans are ENTITLED to health care. Let the programs mature, let the stimulus dollars get used and repaid . . . allow the process to work for just a few more years.

Step 3: Private sector - all of you. Start hiring. If you're going to sit there and pout, be whiny, and live in fear that your taxes are going up; we'll suck. Unfortunately, I don't believe Step 3 will come to pass. The greed in this country is so far gone that this part probably just won't go. But, if they were smart on the whole and patient - small business owners and large corporations would buck up - pay their fair share of taxes to reduce the deficit. Consider it an investment to gain our national economic health. The problem is that everyone is hording their money and "trying to get there's" - - they're not hiring. They need to hire to help the government spending and create an overall stimulus. DON'T cut off your nose to spite your face - THAT's what's happening right now.

Step 4: In 2014 with Obama in his second term and government getting WAY too large. Vote Republican. By that time the retarded Tea Party will have proven to be a failure because everyone read my blog instead of watching a full on media blitz. The economy will have started to recover (maybe even recovered and booming) and we now must concern ourselves with an efficient, low-tax, innovative economy. We must keep in place the government regulation that went into place; to prevent the banks and Wall Street from running willy-nilly again with their creative derivatives and crazy bad moral business practices. If we prevent Ponzi Schemes, derivatives, arm-loans, off-shore bank accounts, and excessive offshore outsourcing . . . maybe, just maybe we'll kick ass again. And the 2020's will look just like the 90's.

Do it - do it people.