Transitions

It's such an obvious observation to state that transitions make us anxious. When you're five you go to kindergarten (side note: why has this German term endured) - you know without anyone telling you that you are expected to perform. It's the smallest phrases: "be good", "just try your best", "listen to your teacher." Or how about, "Just have fun" . . . there's a loaded comment. If you really went to school and just had fun you'd be expelled. Through all those little phrases and the mannerisms of your parents you know something is expected of you. You know you need to perform (or at least try).

The transitions continue as you grow - starting on a team, moving to new schools, off to college, moving in with roomates . . . each bringing new challenges and you know you need to perform. My biggest tranistion to date was certainly the birth of the first one. It's the moderate pressure of knowing that if you don't perform at a bare minimum something dies. Not the plant in the corner, not even a dog (which would be horrific enough), but a human baby. I have a teamate in parenting and could lean on her quite often; I'm thankful for that. We aquire a lot of help through transitions throughout our life.

So what the hell is my point? You'd think after going through some pretty significant transitions in life that by the time you were 36 transitions would be easier. There's would be less butterflies in the stomach, you wouldn't lose any sleep - you'd get your ducks in a row, put your support people in place, evaluate your move and transition. Well - wrong. I haven't made an occupational transition in some time, and now I'm basically pre-occupied in my mind constantly. What if I'm not really as good as I think I am? I have a whole family counting on me - what if I fail?

I'm a confident person, and I've failed at very little in my life - which leads me to this question . . . is it better to expect to succeed or fail? I think best to expect to succeed and prepare to fail. But in preparing to fail, are you subconciously expecting to? I suppose I'll leave it to others to debate the issue - I just know that I'm transitioning and it's nerve racking. You need to do it because the most rewarding things require transitions - but it's hard everytime.